I turned down the aisle at Harris Teeter headed towards the front when a woman at the far end caught my eye. Our eyes locked as we walked towards each other. I recognized her from North Ridge Country Club. She was the Communications Director at the Club or something like that. I did remember she was always taking pictures at the big events. Her name popped in – Tracey Adkins. She was a “Looker”. Now I am almost upon her. No break in eye contact. Without hesitation we hug. She leans back. I look at her questioningly. She says, “You looked like you needed a hug.” I say, “Thank You.” That’s it. We both go our separate ways down the aisle. I could tell she recognized me from the Club but she did not know my name. I had lost my wife four months earlier.

In the following 3 ½ years I would see her taking pictures at the Club. Sometimes we caught each other’s eyes. When we did we both burst into big smiles. When she smiled her pretty face radiated a mind numbing beauty that transfixed me. We never talked. Never waved. Just smiled. We had a Connection of some kind.

Over time I learned things about Tracey Adkins. She was raised in Franklin County off of 401 between Rolesville and Louisburg. Her dad was Robert William Winn and her mom was Jean Winn. Jean’s maiden name was Harris. As it turns out at one point the Harris clan owned almost all of Franklin County from a grant from the King of England. Time and the Depression fixed that pesky problem.

Tracey Winn was a handful growing up. She was smart and quick and not easy to keep “Down on the Farm”. She grew up entertaining her friends, always on the borderline of being “Grounded” by Mom. Then she hit her teenage years in the 60’s and her natural beauty blossomed along with her vivacious personality. So in addition to being a High School Cheerleader, she also won the “Most Talented” and “Most Popular” superlative awards in High School, while still trying to avoid being grounded. I might add that Tracey was the Cheerleader that knows nothing about sports and could care less. Her definition of sports was “Men Doing Something With A Ball. – very boring and usually noisy.”

As it turns out Tracey had rare artistic ability and was drawing from the time she could hold a crayon. She went to ECU, got her degree in Art while never backing down from a good party, and became an Artist. While becoming an artist there were a lot of twists and turns in Tracey’s never boring life. One of which was writing public service radio spots for Andy Griffith for the Lost Colony Production at the Outer Banks. Tracey was looking for a marketing job at the time. The Production Company said we are supposed to write public service radio spots for Andy Griffith. If he agrees to do what you write, you have the job. Tracey writes the radio spots, has dinner with Andy, shows him the radio spots, he thinks they are funny … Tracey gets the job, as well as a nice dinner with Andy Griffith. Knowing Tracey, it is not a surprise that the radio spots were a hit, or that Andy liked her, or that she got the job – she was a great writer.

Some people get a lot of skills and personality. Tracey was one of them. She was a fantastically smooth Shag Dancer and took away many dance trophies at the beach for winning shag dance contests at Nags Head. She also could Rock and Roll with the best of them and was a singer in the band. Tracey could do it all. Plus she was an awesome gourmet cook and excelled at ensuring every pot and pan in the entire kitchen needed to be washed at the end of the day.

Tracey grows up and gets married, and had a beautiful, smart daughter, Alexandra Rose. Then her Grandson Griffin exploded on the scene. Tracey and Griffin had a dynamite powerful loving bond from the start. Tracey moved to Raleigh, and opened an Art Studio in downtown Raleigh. Economic slow downs impact the Art Community. In 1999 Tracey closes her studio and takes a position at North Ridge Country Club and quickly becomes the Communications Director at the Club. She wins a prestigious award encompassing North and South Carolina for publishing the best News Letter. She helps George and Pat Wallace start the “Art Gala” at NRCC, which becomes a significant regional yearly art event.

I show back up on the scene 3 ½ years later by making a bold move and actually talk to her as she stops to get water in the lounge at NRCC. We chat. My friend, Kenny Adams asks, “What is that all about?!” I say, “I don’t know. We seem to have a connection.”

Time goes by. I now position myself every Thursday night at the bar in the lounge waiting to see if Tracey will come by for water. She does … every time. We always talk – briefly. One day I kind of grab her arm playfully. I get a LOOK. I think “Uhoh, you are sad, sad, super sad, uncool and dumb.” On the other hand, the LOOK is not all that bad. More like a REALLY? Look. My friend says, “What’s that all about?” I say, “I don’t know. We have a connection.”

2012, Swing into Spring, a big NRCC golf and dance weekend come around. I am at the dance with my golf partner and his wife. I see Tracey taking pictures. She passes right beside me. I say, “Are you allowed to dance?” Fortunately, she does not look like she is going to throw up. She says, “Yes, after I am off duty in an hour.” I say, “I will still be here in an hour.” She say’s, “Okay”. We dance. Naturally, Tracey is a great dancer. I am an enthusiastic dancer and somehow come to the conclusion that I am a good dancer. We have a magical night of dancing and being together. All we know is that we are having a great time. Many others though are seeing something different. We have many people come up to us that we barely know to comment on our dancing and the unbelievable happiness that seems to flow from us. It is like there is a light shining on us that people see that we don’t. People want to take pictures of us dancing. It is weird but fun and we can’t stop smiling at each other. Something spiritual happened that night…which, we realized, had been manifesting between us for years and years. We had known each other for thousands of years and many life times. We had never been able to get together until now.

Tracey decides, that while I fall well short of her normal high standards, that she will go out with me commencing in August 2012. Tracey picks out a myriad of her close friends to go out to dinner with over the next two months. I am naturally clueless that this is the vetting process to ensure I am not as dumb as I look. Somehow, I pass those tests. I don’t think it hurt that her pastor, David McClean, was a Marine and in Vietnam during the same time frame that I was.

We go look at Engagement Rings on the 4th date. I was all excited. From Tracey’s perspective it was more like, “Well, what woman does not like to go look at diamonds!” I tell her we need to get this train moving. I am not getting any younger. She says, “What’s the time line?” I lay it out. A. Start dating Aug 1. B. Engaged Oct 1. C. Married Dec 15. Tracey says she has problems with the time line. What’s the problem? Too Fast! I can pull it off. It’s just logistics. Too Fast. Well, when do you want to get married? Might be able to swing June. Too Long. How about April? How about June. No, I am good with April. I’ll think about it.

Tracey talks to her close friend Parker Lumpkin. Believe it or not he goes along with April. Obviously, Tracey missed the fact that when I was being Vetted by the Lumpkins, Parker and I were enjoying the same adult beverages, and were quite happy with each other.

Only had to propose twice. Screwed up the first one. Tracey announced it was the worst proposal ever. I am not sure if it was the showing up in gym shorts or not shaven or at 8 in the morning. I did have a guitar though.

To my proposal Tracey said, “That would be a No.” and that she would tell me when I could propose again. I said, “Is that even a thing? What if you never give me the go ahead?” Tracey, “Not my problem”.

Tracey gave me the “Go Ahead” in December, 2012 at a Christmas party … thank you for the wine.

We got married April 13, 2013. Awesome wedding. Awesome party. Awesome Marriage. Awesome Friends.

We were married two years, 11 months and one day. My wedding vows included “You will have the Time of Your Life. And Tracey did, and We did.

Tracey had not traveled much and packing was an adventure, usually requiring more time than the trip itself. Nevertheless, she enjoyed Spring at the Greenbrier, and Vegas. We journeyed south through Savannah, St. Augustine and Palm Beach Gardens, Fl. Went on our Honeymoon Cruise starting in Venice. Ventured north to cruise the St. Lawrence Sea Way and Quebec City; took trips to the beach, and weekends everywhere.

Wherever we went Tracey gathered friends. She was an unassuming Magnet. She had a funny, witty sense of humor and at times she was happy to nail you with a smiling tinge of sarcasm. Her favorite line she delighted in delivering about me was, “You are not too bright are you Honey. I like that in a man!” So much the better if a crowd was around. (I loved her sense of humor. She would say something she thought was funny and laugh and laugh at her own line. Well, that would start me laughing. I cannot begin to describe how much fun we had being with each other. We got the biggest kick out of laughing at each other -- what a Hoot!) What people somehow automatically saw underneath was a Truly Kind Person. She did not care to be viewed in that manner. She liked to be thought of as a tough guy. Heck, at church she was known as “The Nuclear Option”, which she really liked. So, if you went for some counseling and no one could get through to you, or you were in major denial, a Counselor would say, “Okay, time to bring in the Nuclear Option”. (Eye rolls would take place, perspiration would accelerate -- Tracey was about to come to bat.) This pretty much meant you were about to get the unvarnished, unflowered up truth delivered in a way that somehow you could accept and realize it was delivered with love. She was a great spiritual person and helped guide many people through tough times.

I never heard much, if anything, from God except when Tracey came on the scene. Then, before we started dating, I would get downloads about Tracey, usually starting about 2 am. I was compelled to get up and write down the information. I would later email her the information. This was disconcerting to Tracey. She was not sure she liked me knowing a lot of things about her personality and inner being when we barely knew each other, but I did. I was also told that “We are a lot stronger together than we are apart”. We both always believed that. Probably anyone that has seen us together would be on board with that one. That is why I have had such a hard time -- wondering why God would take Tracey away from me so quickly when we are so powerful together. I guess I will know someday, but for now it is very sad.

Out of nowhere Tracey was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. That was tough to come to grips with. She fought hard, never quit, never quit joking, never quit puling my chain, and expressed her immense love for all who came in contact with her. I guess God just decided he needed her up there more than we needed her down here. The last month of her life she expressed time after time How Happy She Was … and I believe her. She finally discovered and believed how loved she was by so many people that the love overwhelmed her. And she expressed her immense love and pride in her daughter and Grandson, and the joy she received in getting to know and love my family.

Tracey said she just wanted to die in my arms. So, when she died I was holding her in my arms and one second later God was holding her in his arms … she is Gorgeous and Laughing and Dancing and Singing and Entertaining Everyone!

Tracey is my Soul Mate, The Girl of My Dreams, The Love of my Life, My Heart Throb, and My Playmate. And Those of You Who Knew How Much We Loved Each Other … That was just the Tip of the Ice Burg. I Will Love You Forever, My Darling Tracey.

(Some day I will write a story about Tracey. I believe you will enjoy it. There is a lot more to tell. You see, Tracey knew things Spiritually that the rest of us don’t. She was amazing. You will love it.)

Tracey is survived by: Her Husband, Alex (Spike) Hogg; Daughter, Alexandra Rose, Grandson, Griffin Rose, Spike’s daughter’s, Cindy and Meredith and Family.

A Memorial Service Celebrating Tracey’s Life will be held at North Ridge Country Club, Sunday, Mar 20, 2016 at 4 pm with a reception following the Service until 6:30.

In Lieu of Flowers donations may be made to: Fellowship of Christ Church, 1788 Kildaire Farm Rd Cary, NC 27511