Peter James Kruyer, born July 1st, 1960 in South Bend, Indiana, passed away January 6th, 2025 in Raleigh, North Carolina, on a rainy afternoon in the home he shared with Lauree, his wife and partner of 39 years, and Willow, his pet Labrador Retriever and unfailing companion. Peter spent his final days in the same manner in which he most enjoyed life--enveloped in the warm and easy company of his wife and family, a motley crew of daughters, sons, in-laws, and dogs that he loved, steady and unyielding.

Rather than attempt a chronology of Peter’s life, what follows instead is a list, in no particular order, of everything else he loved in the hopes that this may better illustrate what made Peter his wife’s favorite husband, his children’s favorite father, and a great friend to anyone lucky enough to have earned this distinction.

Peter loved food. He loved steak medium-rare, grits with cheese, and ham sandwiches with mayonnaise on both sides of the bread. He loved sticky buns on Christmas, chocolate cake on birthdays, and donuts for no occasion at all. He loved talking about the new restaurants opening in town and the old ones to which he longed to return. He loved fitting as many people as he could around the dining room table, always the last to sit, usually depositing in the center a plate piled high with something off the grill, smoky and hot.

Peter loved sports. He loved golf, playing as often as he could and watching as much as his family would endure. He loved reminding everyone that the lottery for Masters’ tickets had opened and encouraging any and all to enter on his behalf. He loved soccer, coaching each of his three children when they were young, chasing them across the field in games of sharks and minnows. He loved being their most ardent supporter as they grew older, and he loved soliciting confused looks from parents and kids alike as he yelled purposefully unintelligible sounds of support from the sidelines.

Peter loved watching Wake Forest athletics, commenting on Wake Forest athletics, and despairing at the state of Wake Forest athletics. As a student, he loved sneaking a flask into football games under his marching band cap and as an alumnus, he loved telling his children how he used to sneak a flask into football games under his marching band cap. He loved his Sigma Pi paddle, for the memories of the sundry pranks and ruses it evoked but mostly for the names written on it, dear friends and brothers.

He loved Southern Pines, the place where he and Lauree raised their family. He loved their white house on a hill at the end of a cul-de-sac, nested amongst the towering pines. He loved raking and mowing the backyard while his kids passed a soccer ball or shot hoops or generally attempted to evade being enlisted into picking up sticks and pinecones, a perpetually futile effort. He loved dancing to Paul Simon while doing the dishes, handing soapy plates to one of his children to rinse as he crooned the lyrics to “You Can Call Me Al”.

He loved Emmanuel Episcopal Church and was a constant fixture amongst the rows of wooden pews every Sunday for over 20 years. He loved ferrying his children to the parish in a sea green Toyota minivan and he loved making his children get out and walk the rest of the way home when they got too rowdy in the backseat. He loved interrupting bell choir rehearsal with a smart alec comment that would elicit laughter and eye rolls in equal measure. He loved flipping pancakes at the youth group fundraiser and making waffles at 5:00 a.m. for the children’s choir before the Easter Vigil. He loved giving Emmanuel whatever he could offer, whether it was a seat on the Vestry, two terms as the church’s Treasurer, or even just a warm handshake to a stranger during the passing of the Peace.

Peter loved inappropriate jokes at inappropriate times as well as appropriate jokes at inappropriate times. Whenever meeting a child, he loved to wiggle their arm in such a way as to make the arm appear to have no bones and then, he loved to ask the unsuspecting child why in fact did their arm contain no bones. He loved quoting comedies, always quick with a quip from “Animal House,” “Caddyshack,” or “Napoleon Dynamite.” He loved making anyone laugh that he could and never missed an opportunity to get in on a joke, his lips upturned into a wry smile, patiently waiting to get his line in.

Peter loved his routines. He loved waking up early, walking the dog, and reading the sports section over breakfast. He loved eating lunch with his co-workers and asking his children every day who they had eaten lunch with. He loved arriving home and giving Lauree a peck before putting on his swishy shorts. He loved making pre-dinner cocktails every night and pancakes every Saturday, flipping far too many, abundance his nature.

Peter loved Lauree, Sarah, Nick, and Sam. He loved Dan, Val, and Maddy. He loved Karen and Chuck, Kathleen and Tom, Patrick and Sarah, Katie and Jonathan. He loved Freddie, Barnie, Winnie, Maggie, and Willow. He loved his church friends, his travel soccer friends, his work friends, his college friends, and if you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you were a friend he loved too.

A service to celebrate Peter’s life and all of the love he poured into it will be held on Monday, January 27th at 3:00 p.m. at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in Cary, North Carolina. In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be sent to the Tisch Brain Tumor Center at Duke University Hospital. In addition to the wonderful staff at Tisch, Peter’s family would also like to extend warmest thanks and sincerest gratitude to the medical staff of the WakeMed Neuro ICU and Neuro Intermediate units as well as Transitions LifeCare. Their tireless dedication to Peter’s care in the final weeks of his life was only outmatched by their deep and enduring kindness.