Barbara Puckett Derrickson, age 87, passed away at her home in Raleigh, North Carolina, on August 3, 2022, after several months of declining health. She was preceded in death by her husband of 33 years, James William Derrickson, Jr. (Jim), and their daughter, Elizabeth Derrickson Stephens.

She is survived by her son, James William Derrickson III (Jim) of Raleigh, North Carolina, and his wife, Angela; son Stephen Derrickson (Steve) of St. Petersburg, Florida; daughter-in-law Mary Lou Derrickson of St. Petersburg, Florida; and, son-in-law Sam Stephens of Virginia Beach, Virginia. She is survived also by seven grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren: Amber Noel Derrickson of St. Petersburg, Florida; Margaret Derrickson Chou (Maggie) of Fairfax, Virginia, her husband Jon, and their children, Naomi, Phoebe and Joanna; Molly Derrickson Harwell of Lewisville, North Carolina, her husband, Daniel, and their children, Nash and Hayes; Taylor Derrickson of St. Petersburg, Florida, and his wife, Chelcie; Mary-Claire Derrickson of Durham, North Carolina; James William Derrickson IV (Will) of Winston-Salem, North Carolina, his wife, Veryan, and their children, Arwen and Dempsey; and Samuel Stephens, Jr. (Sammy) of Virginia Beach.

A graveside service will be held at Elmwood Cemetery in Norfolk, Virginia, on Saturday, September 17, 2022, at 10:00 am, followed by brunch at the Norfolk Yacht and Country Club.

In lieu of flowers, the family request that gifts be given in Barbara’s memory to the Children’s Hospital of the King’s Daughters in Norfolk, Virginia

The family is thankful for Dr. Ben Fischer and the staff of the Fischer Clinic, as they provided extraordinary, compassionate care of Barbara for the last five years of her life.

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A Tribute

Barbara was born on September 20, 1934, to Glenn and Elsie Puckett of Anderson, Indiana. Her father called her Barbara Ann. Baby photos show a beautiful little girl with large, round eyes. She won an “Honorable Mention” in the May Company baby contest at age 18 months. In childhood photos, she is crowned with soft blonde curls, her smile is wide and sweet, her eyes twinkle with a bit of mischief. Teen photos hint at the pretty young woman she will become. All her life, her photos feature those large, blue eyes and that wide, sweet smile.

Barbara grew up surrounded by family: parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. Her brother, Stanley, was several years older and often away at school. She had a happy, carefree childhood, secure in the knowledge that she was precious and loved. She lived her life to make others know they, too, were precious and loved. She was vivacious, outgoing, popular and always ready for fun. Friends sometimes called her Barb, Babs or Bobbie Ann.

Her father, Glenn Puckett, adored his only daughter, and she, in turn, adored him. Glenn was a self-made man of numerous ventures, among them selling Max Factor makeup to the Hollywood studios. Barbara loved to tell the story of traveling to California to visit Mr. Max Factor (yes, the actual man) and seeing a very young Elizabeth Taylor lean out the window of the house next door. Barbara was star-struck. She loved going to the movies all her life.

Her mother, Elsie Puckett, was a homemaker, an accomplished seamstress who made many of Barbara’s clothes, and an expert at pickling, canning and preserving vegetables grown in their garden. Barbara took road trips with her mother down to Colorado to visit grandparents and out to California or the southwestern states.

By her late teens, Barbara wasn’t interested in sewing, pickling or canning with her mother. Instead she preferred to help her father in his latest venture, Stewart Infra-Red Sandwiches, helping run the commissary. After graduating from Shortridge High School, she took classes at a local business school. She had a good head for numbers, and this proved helpful in later life, first as treasurer of her local King’s Daughter chapter, then later when running “A Touch of Brass,” the brass shop she owned with her husband.

In June of 1955, her life changed forever when she stepped off the plane in Shannon, Ireland, at the start of an extended tour of Europe, for it was there that she met Jim Derrickson, the man for whom she fell head over heels in love. Returning from their European tour, they had a long-distance courtship via letters, Jim in Norfolk, Virginia, and Barbara in Indianapolis, Indiana. After a brief engagement, they were married at her parents’ church on Sunday, June 24, 1956. Barbara kept their love letters for the rest of her life.

The newlyweds settled in Indianapolis, Indiana, and Jim began working for his father-in-law at Stewart Sandwiches. After their first child (called Jimmy) was born, Barbara and Jim moved to his hometown of Norfolk, Virginia, where they spent the rest of their marriage. They settled in the Larchmont neighborhood, living in 3 different houses over the years, each just a few blocks from the other (and two that were, literally, front to back). Their second son, Steve, was born soon after they moved to Virginia, and their only daughter, Elizabeth, a few years later.

Barbara gave herself wholeheartedly to her new town and was embraced by her husband’s wide circle of friends. Barbara served in the Junior League and supported the Children’s Hospital of the King’s Daughters for as long as she lived in Virginia. She was an active member of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church and served as a choir mom for its choir of men and boys. The choir trip to England in 1969, which she chaperoned, was a highlight of her life. She was a devoted Anglophile, often reminding others that one set of grandparents was from England. She had a childhood scrapbook devoted to the royal family. And, of course, she loved Princess Diana.

Barbara and Jim were well suited for one another. Both were extroverts who loved being with family and friends. They had an active social life, full of parties, many of which they hosted. Their annual Christmas party, held on Christmas night, was a Larchmont tradition that lasted into the wee hours of the morning. Their house usually was noisy, spilling over with the children’s friends, supervised by a golden retriever or two. Barbara loved animals and always had a dog or cat until her last years.

Some of her favorite family memories were of beach days at Sandbridge, vacations in a rented camper with Jim and their children and, most of all, a three-month RV trip she and Jim took across the US just a few months before he was diagnosed with cancer.

The first great sorrow of her life came in 1989 when Jim died, leaving her a widow at the age of 54. She moved to a smaller home, still in the Larchmont neighborhood, but emotionally it felt like another country. The grief was enormous and unavoidable. She never married again because Jim had been the love of her life. For her, there could never be another. Singleness in middle age was an adjustment. She had always been part of a couple, always been part of “Jim and Barbara.” Most of their friends were couples; she was the first widow in the group. Friends sincerely sought to include her, but it became too hard to do things without Jim by her side. By the end of her life, she had been a widow for the same number of years she was a wife.

Barbara found her purpose and joy renewed by focusing on her grandchildren. She was “Grandma” to seven: Jimmy had four children, Steve had two and Elizabeth had one. Her grandchildren overflow with memories of visits to Grandma’s house; going out to eat (Doumar’s in Norfolk, Friendly’s in Richmond, Island Delights in Topsail Beach); weeks at the beach; and playing games, always lots of games.

She joined Christ & St. Luke’s Episcopal church where she renewed friendships and was fed spiritually by the liturgy, strong preaching and beautiful music. Barbara began traveling to Nags Head with Elizabeth; to the Cayman Islands with friends; on cruises to the Caribbean, the Panama Canal, and Alaska; and to the Holy Land, where she was baptized in the Jordan River. Always a music lover, she began attending the opera, the symphony and Broadway musicals.

After Elizabeth gave birth in 2004 to Barbara’s seventh and final grandchild, Sammy, Barbara decided to move to Virginia Beach to be closer to them. She left her beloved Larchmont neighborhood and Norfolk, the city that had been her home for 40+ years. Soon she was joining Elizabeth’s family every Sunday at Bethany Freewill Baptist Church, where she loved the old-fashioned hymns and the straightforward, earnest preaching.

The second great sorrow of Barbara’s life came in 2010, when Elizabeth died of breast cancer at the age of 45. Elizabeth was Barbara’s only daughter, and they were very close. The grief, again, was overwhelming and threatened to undo her. But caring for her 3-year old grandson, Sammy, gave Barbara a purpose and reason to go on.

In 2017, Barbara sold her house and moved to an Independent Living facility in Virginia Beach. A year later, when vision problems made it inadvisable to drive, she moved to an Independent Living facility in Raleigh, North Carolina, to be close to her son, Jimmy (now called Jim, like his father) and his family. She made friends in her new home, went on “field trips” and shopping trips. She saw Jim’s family often, including four of her grandchildren and all seven great-grandchildren. Her family in Florida and Virginia made it a priority to visit and kept in touch through phone calls and cards. As her health began to decline, social outings gave way to doctor visits and then to hospital stays. Through it all, she maintained a cheerful attitude and worked hard to stay well. But eventually, her weakening heart and a myriad of other health challenges overtook her. Her family and friends miss her terribly.

Despite living in the South most of her life, Barbara was a mid-westerner to the core. She was always friendly and outgoing. She loved a good casserole and Watergate Salad. She never could pronounce “wash” correctly; she always said “warsh.” Barbara was down-to-earth, unpretentious, practical, and abundant in love.

She was a pretty woman, neatly dressed in coordinated outfits, hair coiffed once a week, nails manicured every other week. In all her photographs, she is well put together and always smiling. But don’t be fooled. Behind that sweet, innocent expression lay the heart of a ruthless competitor. Many were slain by her prowess in Mahjong, Rummikub, or Bingo. Her family loves her but suspects she was not above a tiny bit of cheating every now and then. (“Why, I don’t know how I got so many tiles!”)

She always wore jewelry, some of it costume, some real. She had several beautiful pieces, mostly given to her by her husband (the only person who could equal her in generosity). Barbara was never satisfied with wearing one of anything. She layered necklaces long before that was the trend. She wore numerous rings at one time, often two or three stacked on her perfectly manicured fingers. Her tiny wrists were draped with several bracelets, always gold, never silver. We knew she was nearing the end when she took off her earrings, necklaces and rings.

She was a collector of Timex watches, freebie Clinique cosmetic bags, Beltone Hearing Aid pens, and return address labels generously supplied by the Humane Society in gratitude for her annual $20.00 donation. She had an assortment of catalogs from which she would purchase nifty, hard-to-find merchandise, paying $6.95 in shipping and handling for an $8.95 item. She leaves behind a hoard of coffee K-cups, every refrigerator magnet ever given to her, and enough costume jewelry to supply Mardi Gras for the next five years.

She claimed she didn’t watch much TV, but somehow, she kept up with all the nighttime soaps, from Dynasty to Dallas to Grey’s Anatomy. Lately she had taken to watching Judge Judy, Dancing with the Stars, Ninja Warriors and anything on Animal Planet. She liked to watch golf on TV and ice hockey in person, especially when they brawled (the hockey players, not the golfers). She tolerated football but couldn’t stand baseball or basketball.

Her favorite sport was shopping, especially at Walmart, TJ Maxx, Kohl’s and Macy’s. She never could resist a bargain, even if she already had 37 pairs of slacks and 52 tops (those numbers are estimates, but possibly accurate). She would pull out her wallet – she seemed to get a new one every year, and several of them still have their price tags – fan out her cash for all to see, extract the appropriate amount, and cram the remaining bills back in the wallet with the edges sticking out. Later she switched to store charge cards, but the process was never as satisfying. She claimed to hate shopping, but actions speak louder than words.

She showed her love through cooking and always made her family’s favorites when they came home: Stuffed Hamburgers, “Ginny’s Lasagna,” Hamburger Corn Casserole, Chocolate Chip Cookies and Texas Cake. She wasn’t a gourmet cook, but somehow her food always tasted better than other people’s. No one could match her Chicken Salad or Lemon Squares.

She said, “I love you,” by spending time with those she loved and taking care of them. When a grandchild was born, Barbara came to help the new mom recuperate. She took care of grandchildren so their moms could work, or their parents could get away together. She came anytime she was needed: moves, surgeries, medical treatments. Even if she had lived another ten years, the family never could have repaid her for all she did. But she didn’t want to be repaid. She wanted to help, she needed to help. That’s just who she was.

Her children and grandchildren describe her as: “devoted; sweet but feisty; spunky; youthful, fun-loving; stubborn; life of the party; vibrant, loving; matriarch; made us laugh; got along with anyone; Grandma to us and to our friends; always supportive; always ready for a game or a good mixed drink; loved her family immensely; always wanted everyone to be happy; she made it a point to be there for every special event.”

Barbara was fiercely loyal to those she loved, and she would never, never give up on them, no matter what they did. The only people she didn’t like were those who hurt the people she loved. Her family doesn’t know anyone who didn’t like her, and most people loved her. She was easy to love.

And she was brave. It takes bravery to leave the town where you were born and raised and move to another part of the country, to a town where people talk funny and are set in their ways. It takes bravery to jump right in, smiling despite your nerves and jitters. It takes bravery to watch the people you love suffer and care for them without flinching. It takes bravery to start over in a new city when you’re 82. And it takes bravery to fight hard for a long, full life when medical tests and doctors tell you that you’re in decline. To the end, Barbara kept that warm, sweet smile and fought bravely for a good, long life.

And now she is reunited with the love of her life, her husband, Jim. She can once again hug her daughter, Elizabeth, and her beloved father. For that, we rejoice. And we bet that she is at some heavenly cocktail party right now. If they didn’t have cocktail parties in heaven before Barbara arrived, we expect they have them now. To all the souls who have gone on to glory we say: If you hear of any celestial Bingo games, watch out!

Please join us for the graveside service on Saturday, September 17, 2022, three days before her 88th birthday. She didn’t want a big church funeral or memorial, so the family is honoring her wishes. Please, don’t wear black – she hated sad times, so wear something colorful and cheerful. Sending her off without a party doesn’t seem right, so please join us for brunch at the Norfolk Yacht and Country Club after the service. We’ll toast Barbara, and we’ll laugh and cry together as we remember this remarkable woman.